The Big 10

Yesterday, I shared my dismay at what the scale told me.

I couldn't help but think about it almost all weekend. It started when I had to buy a XXL shirt for pictures. Then again when I put it on and it fit. And yet again after we had family pictures taken and I barely recognized myself.

Thing is, I'm a glass half full type girl. I can find the bright side of nearly anything. Until Saturday morning when I tried zipping up my second pair of jeans I'd brought for Thanksgiving and couldn't (traitors). Of the two pair that I've been able to wear for the last year, I was down to one.

For the most part my Standard Operating Weight (or SOW) is between 205 and 210. Big numbers, I know. But those that know me know I'm pretty much a big boned Amazon. Ok, maybe not so big boned, but I am tall. Right now my SOW is easy to maintain: minimal exercise and eat nearly whatever I want.

A 'healthy' weight for me is between 150 and 175.

Shit, I weighted 175 in high school.

Needless to say, more exercise and eating only a tad less made that possible. Oh yea and I was 18 and not 35.

Back to the issue at hand. So Saturday morning I glumly put my other jeans (the ones that still zipped) on. My head started spinning as I sat down to a cinnamon roll, little smokies, and a scrambled egg (or two) for breakfast.

How much heavier could I be? I continued to eat like it was a holiday until my last great meal before hitting the road on Sunday afternoon. It's not like I wanted to make a change while my mom was cooking. But the whole time I was planning what would come Monday morning. The only thing that's worked for me (when I did it) - South Beach Diet.

I hit the ground running Monday morning. Literally. After the kids went school I managed a quick jog - jiggling all the way. First though, I weighed myself and was dismayed to see the scale settle on 215. I've managed phase one since Monday morning and had three (quick) jogs.

I weighed myself again this morning (Friday) and was excited to see a more respectable 205. That's 10 pounds. The only way I could have done better was if I was on The Biggest Loser. Now, I know some of that is water weight. I'm ok with that, just don't rain on my parade.

There is a difference in how my jeans fit. I haven't tried back on the traitors, but my other pair is fitting much better. The pockets don't bulge and I'm down two notches on my belt.

Right now, I know that unless I plan to eat like this forever, the weight will slowly (or not so slowly) creep back. I'd like to say that after the two week induction phase I'll move on to phase two and get to my goal weight. By then, I'll be able to better manage my eating and exercising. I'd like to get my SOW to 180 - 185. I'd really like for all that to happen.

My weight will always be an issue for me. It's not like I'm trying to insulate myself, or that I don't know how much or what I'm eating and where it will lead. I know it. I just really, really like food. Quantity, quality - both. I love food.

Right now, though, I'm relishing this 10 pounds and that my jeans fit better. It's given me a new lease on eating better and exercising a bit more. I'm getting back to finding that girl I knew once upon a time...