Thursday, May 18, 2006

If it's yellow let it mellow...

Is it really that hard?

1. Use the toilet
2. Wipe if necessary
3. Pull up underwear and pants
4. Flush toilet
5. Wash hands with soap
6. Dry hands
7. Turn off light

Am I expecting too much? He's four now. Time to start upping the ante. Some days he acts like it's the first time he's done it. Use the toilet. Now... What was I doing? Wash hands, pull up pants? Or wash hands, wipe? Wash hands, run screaming from the bathroom for no apparent reason?

When we were selling our house, I had to do a "toilet check" and make sure all the toilets had been flushed since the last use. I still have to if we have people over. I'm sure at some point, it will come naturally and be an orderly progression. There's a method, you know. You have to pull up your pants before flushing, because maybe, just maybe the toilet will back up and overflow, then you're caught running out of the bathroom while pulling your pants up. Once is enough for me. Of course I didn't make the toilet back up... really. You flush the toilet then wash your hands because you know how dirty toilets are. And please, for heaven sake, take the extra 15 seconds to dry your hands - one grab of a "I don't know how it got wet" hand is usually enough to creep me out. You'd think after 6 years of parenting I'd be able to handle it, but clean dry hands are important to me.

Finally. For the love of all. Flush. Really. The only time it's not OK is at night. This stems from our first house and first baby. The first house was built in 1969 and had the original toilet. I think it ran around 25 gallons to flush. Ka-whooosh! Ok, maybe it was closer to 7 gallons, but you get the idea. The new baby had a freaked-out first time mommy that was terrified she'd wake up. I've changed quite a bit since then, but still don't like to be woken up. Amazing what we get used to. So, there it goes, the only time it's not ok to flush.


Builder Mama said...

So, how did you get him to do the potty gig all by himself? Monkey Man feels the need to announce it every time and then needs help wiping afterwards. He is particularly good about flushing, but only because he thinks it's cool to watch it all go down.

I am least your fellow tries to wipe. Mine just yells for someone to help. ARGH.

Tree said...

OMG! I so so relate. It's crazy - what is with their lack of ability to follow a few simple directions that remain constant?

Somehow, my MIL has been able to teach N to wipe off the rim of the seat - a recent trick. So, he is remembering to flush. But he doesn't like flushing because the noise hurts his ears. Ah. Okay. And washing the hands? Oh my. It's an Act of God. Truly.


Anonymous said...

What is it with flushing, my ds can't remember either. (He also loves to read on the toilet and we know that is normal for males.) We have a toilet from 1913 - very big, very loud and lots of water.

Thankfully this is an easy thing for my little girl.

Hugs to you - I feel lost too. All work and chores makes me a very dull girl.

Heather said...

I can so sympathize, it used to be she didn't want to go potty, she just wanted to flush. Now flushing is a long forgotten art. The house is on the market and I have to do laps every time we leave to make sure all the toilets are flushed!