Friday, May 19, 2006

Breaking the cycle

I've got the break the cycle, the monotony of my days. Some weeks, like this one, the days all blend together and I have to check on what day it is.

Wake up, feed kids, unload and reload dishwasher, start laundry, break up a fight (or two), check e-mail, redirect kids, move laundry, change poopy diaper, gym, outside time, help with helmets, lunch, dishes, fold laundry, off to school for the Big Girl, nap time for the baby, general cleaning, nap over, change diaper, home from school, check backpack, play outside, dinner, dishes, play outside, bedtime snack, bath, bed for the kids and I settle in to the tv.

Day after day.

After day.

I need something new and exciting, but don't know where to start. Since I've been 'home' I've been losing myself. Slowly but surely into the abyss.

I used to be exciting. I used to do things new - like bellydancing. My sister and I took classes for six months when The Boy was a baby. It was fun. I was fun.

Now, though, I feel like a taskmaster, a cat-herder, the general. Telling, molding, shaping, helping everyone else and I'm getting lost.

Maybe it doesn't need to be exciting - just something.

When you feel yourself slipping, what do you do?

6 comments:

Tree said...

Oh, G, I feel for you. I love the belly dancing idea. Pottery class? Book group? Join a running club? Take a class at a local college - say, art history or drama or creative writing or Spanish or something like that?

What interests you?
Teresa

Tanaya said...

Oh, I hear ya sistah. I am taking an art class (collages) with a friend on Wednesday nights and I am making myself read some of the classics - just so I feel like I'm not losing myself to Noggin, Elmo, Dora and Diego. Not new ideas, but I feel a little more like me and not just the lady who makes sure we have clean clothes and a full belly.

Tired Tunia said...

Well at least it sounds like you have your crap together and are organzied enough not to be running around like a chicken with your head cut off! How long have you been in your new city? Do you know any other moms yet? Maybe you could try and find a moms club or something to join. I have a feeling that you don't really want to hear what I did when I found myself losing my sanity -- I went back to work! Is there anything part time you could do? Even something like that Pampered Chef crap could be something different. Good luck, I've been there, email me if you want to chat -- tiredtunia@yahoo.com

Builder Mama said...

I lock the kid in the closet and call one of my PIM friends.

Seriously, I don't actually lock the door.

Okay, really seriously...it's hard to find time to do "me" stuff when the hubby's not home much, so I eek out moments when I can. Like right now, I am home alone, alone, alone and catching up on blogs and such. I do a lot of my writing in spare moments. Run on the treadmill. Read.

I can empathize - I feel like I'm in a little bit of a rut right now and not sure how to shake it. It scares me.

Hugs, chica.

mothergoosemouse said...

G, I have to give you credit for everything you do. I'd be in the pink suede straitjacket by now.

Me, I try not to think too hard about what should be getting done and just take pleasure in what IS getting done. Taskmasters like us will never let it all go to hell in a handbasket, so you can take the time to admire the little things.

Anonymous said...

Call your network of friends, arrange a babysitting circle and trade off nights/days out for yourself for whatever you need to do.