Two steps forward, 1.8 steps back

Yesterday left me in a position I haven't been in for a long time: craving macaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes and gravy, and every other comfort food you could think of.

Wednesday night, my husband and I went to the second session of the Big 12 tournament's first round. We skipped dinner and had a few drinks. I had more than a few drinks and ate 'bar food'. Not totally unheard of for me, but unusual given the strict attention to detail of the last three and a half months.

It was also the first time I took my new weight out for a 'test drive'. Yesterday, it was very apparent that my 220 pound body metabolized alcohol differently than my 183 pound one.

After a fretful night's sleep, I got the kids off to school and promptly found a comfy place on the couch. I spent the day eating whatever sounded good.

What didn't sound good? Lean meat or veggies.

What did? Oatmeal with brown sugar. Water. Ritz crackers with peanut butter. Water. A Little Debbie oatmeal cream pie. Water. For lunch, my husband took me out for enchiladas, rice, and refried beans. And water.

By the time the kids came home from school, I could stand up for more than 15 minutes without feeling dizzy. Yay me. Dinner consisted of take-home-tacos and homemade macaroni and cheese.

I repeat: homemade macaroni and cheese. First you make a roux...

I was in bed by 7 pm.

This morning I woke up, knowing I'd have to repent for the last two days. I fired up the Wii and put in Wii Fit. Stepped on the scale.

+1.8 pounds.

Not what I wanted to see, but about what I figured.

The key here is I didn't throw up my hands and wonder, "how did that happen?!?" I didn't curse a bit and go make waffles with whipped cream. I didn't give up.

I know how it happened, and I'm taking responsibility.

That means I made my usual breakfast: two egg omelet. Today's was mushroom and onion. Lunch is a salad with plenty of veggies and bit of ham or turkey. Dinner will be spaghetti squash with spaghetti sauce. I'll be done eating by eight. Tomorrow... lather, rinse, repeat.

This little experience has taught me two things:

1. I am capable of forgiving myself. Things happen. It's not always what happens, but how you react to it.
2. I can not drink like I used to. I'm ok with that.

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