Pockets of time

I've noticed something lately. Something I haven't had in a long time.

Pockets of time. Time when no one needs me. It's the strangest feeling. The kids will play downstairs for 15 or 20 minutes - or more. No hollering, no screaming, no whining. I actually have time to get something done without "help" or without playing "Why Mommy?"

I realized something else the other day. We're "due" for another baby. No, no, no. I'm not having another baby, but if the timing were the same - it would be time. Big Girl was 2 1/2 when The Boy came. The Boy was 2 yrs and about 6 weeks when Baby Girl arrived. Baby Girl is now 20 months old. I look at her and can't believe it. That's how they look when I get pregnant.

Most of me is relieved not to have another. A teeny, tiny part, deep down in me, would like one more. I'd like The Boy to have a brother. If I knew for sure and for certain #4 would be a boy, I'd do it. As it is, though, I'm pretty content. Considering my Husband was content with two, I'm not going to push it.

Content in the knowledge that they're getting more independent. Baby Girl now can put on her own shoes and find her coat. Frequently, she doesn't want my help, instead wanting that of her brother or sister. Fine with me! We're getting to a more comfortable place. A place, though very busy, isn't as hard as two years ago. Two years ago I had a newborn, two year old and four year old. Now, I'm beginning to see the light at the end of the tunnel: kids starting school, unsupervised play in the basement, and not needing me quite so much.

Don't get me wrong, they still need me. A lot. But these little pockets of time give me hope.