Thursday, September 27, 2007

Home safe and sound.

Came home yesterday after a brief delay at the airport. It wasn't much, but I had to reschedule a doctor's appointment for my youngest.

Dad left this morning to hunt up North, and Mom's going to stay for a few days.

Good thing too, because I'm sick (trying not to cough up a lung or 'blow through' tissues) and there's business to take care of here.

I'm having a hard time here - deciding whether to open up about what happened, or just leave it be. Thing is, there's only so much information you can give about your life over the computer. Will someone read this with a notion and think "Well. I'd never let that happen to my child." You'll never know by reading exactly what happened, what else was going on, what other circumstances there are.

Saturday I burned my daughter's hand. Second degree. I was ironing, she walked up and wrapped her hand under the ironing board. I hit the "steam" button and exactly the same time. Her hand is now wrapped up in a 'mitten' - first though, covered in ointment, then vasaline coated gauze, then gauze separating each finger, then wrapped and wrapped again. I had to reschedule our second of what may be many doctor's appointments. The doctor was ok with the rescheduling, I had unwrapped it, put more medicine on it, and rewrapped it last night. She was impressed by my bandaging abilities.

We're headed off the burn center tomorrow to see if we can continue treatment at our current doctor's office or if they want to take the case.

I have to take my daughter to the burn center.

What lead up to it? Nothing, I just wan't paying attention. It was an accident. What else was going on? Nothing really, I was just in a hurry. My haste and inattention caused an accident.

To say I'm worried sick and beating myself up over this is an understatement.


Builder Mama said...

Oh, girlfriend. Been there, done that. When Monkey Man was about 14 months old, I was holding his hand as we were walking down the stairs in our old house - he slipped and I couldn't stop him (I still had a hold of his hand but he slipped so fast I couldn't yank him back up). He split his forehead open on the sharp point of the newel post at the bottom. I put a butterfly bandage on it instead of getting stitches on it and now there's a lovely scar that I get to see every day.

It's hard not to beat yourself up, but accidents *do* happen. What I do know is that she loves her mommy an awful lot, and I know her mommy loves her more than the moon and stars. It will all be OK, I promise.

Hugs from me and the rest of the crew here...

Mitzi Green said...

anyone who would read that and make that judgment either (a) has no kids, (b) has kids but leaves them in the care of a very competent (and scared to death of being sued) nanny 24/7, or (c) has kids and never, ever lets them get more than 3 inches from her and is known as That Annoying Mom on the Playground Who Won't Stop Hovering Over Her Kid.

i've never burned bob with an iron (you have to iron for that to happen), but i've burned him with a charcoal grill and a candle. so if you're a bad mother, so am i.

TxGambit said...

Hugs. We have all done something like this. I could go on and on between the three of mine. I have done something to all of them or was unable to prevent something that I beat myself over.

It isn't going to help you right now because you are still going to do it. But, hopefully you will at least take a little comfort in it.

I hope she heals quickly!

Christopher said...

It was a total accident, my friend - and as others have said, anyone passing judgement obviously has no kids. This was obviously not anyone's fault; it just happened.

None of us can stop you from beating yourself up over it... but we can tell you that we have all been there and done something along those lines. You're neither a bad mom nor alone.

I hope you both feel better soon.

joansy said...

For what it's worth, I have:

-- let one infant roll off the couch (didn't know she could roll, but should have known better)

-- accidentally burned one child with my very hot curling iron.

-- cut the cornea of one child when I took a magazine our of my purse. She had to wear and eye patch and looked like a pirate.

-- made one child wear shoes that were too tight which caused her to get two huge blisters on the back of her feet. She told me they were too tight and I didn't believe her.

-- almost drowned both kids when I had an an accident with them in the swimming pool.

And every single time I felt like shit, but also tried to remember that accidents happen. There are times that I wonder how my kids ever made it.

Sorry, just the long way of saying that I've soooo been there and it sucks, but you're very much not alone and don't beat yourself up too much. Hang in there.

Dan said...

I'm with everyone else here Gretchen, and even us Dads are idiots at times. I've been playing with our kids and hurt them, or stopped paying attention for just that split second where it counted...

It's natural that you'll feel guilty - you wouldn't be human otherwise - but don't kick yourself in the ass over it :) It was an accident, plain and simple, not your fault, no one to blame.

Hang in there darlin, and I hope the docs take a good plan of attack on the owie :)

Karen said...

Gretchen, we've all accidentally hurt our kids one way or another. I've shut door son my chidren's fingers because I've not checked where their little hands are when I've shoved it shut. I've trod on their toes with stilettos on because they've been right behind me when I wasn't expecting it and stood back.

Don't beat yourself up over it. It was an accident and she's getting good treatment.

Give yourself a hug.

aimee / greeblemonkey said...

As I said privately, I will said publically - HUGS HUGS AND MORE HUGS.

Tanaya said...

Everybody above has said it all as well and as succinctly as I could. Things will be better soon. Take care of her and you!

Oh...and ask me about the time the metal can of foaming glass cleaner fell off the ladder and hit my one year old son right on the head...

Lukie said...

My prayers are with you. I gave my son a HUGE black eye a couple of years back. Not the same I know but......

Leeanthro said...

I gave my daughter nurse maid's elbow. I was giving her a piggy back ride at the park. I turned to walk one way, she twisted her body to go the other way, and she slipped, but I still had a hold of her hand. The sound was horrible. Her wails were horrible. Of course I blamed my husband because he was off talking to a friend we ran into instead of playing with her. It was no one's fault. But I felt horrible. During the x-rays her tendon slipped back into place and she felt better.

Point being, we've all accidently hurt our children. You definitely can't blame yourself. And she'll be no worse for the wear in the long run.

But the good news for her is that 10 years from now when she wants to stay out late she can say that you still owe her for the time...if she even remembers.

Take care!

Lotta said...

I don't think you can even blame this on inattention. It was just a freak accident. What are the odds that she would stick her hand up at just that time?

Poor baby. Poor mommy. Glad your nesting today and baking good stuff.